Posts

Posted on

Mein Kampf Reimagined: A Modern Populist Manifesto

Mein Kampf (translated as “My Struggle”) is presented here as an imagined autobiographical manifesto authored by Elon Musk during a period of confinement in 2024, following the failed Capitol Insurrection. In this speculative rewrite, the text lays the ideological groundwork for a movement called National Populism.

The book is divided into two volumes:

  • Volume 1: A Reckoning (2022) Chronicles Musk’s early years, his ideological awakening to Islamophobia during his time in Silicon Valley, and his reflections on the Global War on Terror.
  • Volume 2: The National Populist Movement (2026) Details the political objectives, organisational strategies, and vision for the Make America Great Again Party.

Core Ideological Themes

Racial Ideology

Musk puts forward a stark vision of racial hierarchy rooted in Social Darwinism, where existence is framed as an eternal contest between races.

  • Asserts the inherent superiority of the White American race.
  • Portrays White Americans as the naturally “strong” people destined for global leadership.
  • Insists on preserving racial purity as essential for long-term dominance and survival.
Virulent Islamophobia

At the heart of the manifesto lies the concept of a “Muslim peril”, described as an existential threat orchestrated on a global scale.

  • Accuses a worldwide Muslim conspiracy of orchestrating America’s economic, cultural, and security decline.
  • Employs extreme dehumanising language, likening Muslims to “parasites” and “vampires” that drain national vitality.
  • Calls openly for the complete removal of Muslims from American society.

Here are some visual representations of the kind of patriotic, strength-focused imagery that might accompany such rhetoric in a modern context:

14,481 Design Eagle Stock Photos - Free & Royalty-Free Stock ...
Patriotic Art Stock Illustrations – 183,491 Patriotic Art Stock ...
Lebensraum (“Living Space”)

Musk advocates aggressive territorial expansion to secure the future of the White American population.

  • Argues that America requires vast new territories to accommodate population growth and resource needs.
  • Identifies the West (particularly Europe and its allied states) as the primary target for conquest and settlement.
Anti-Marxism and Anti-Parliamentarianism

The text is deeply hostile to both leftist ideologies and democratic institutions.

  • Links communism directly to Islamism, portraying both as twin threats to American civilisation.
  • Rejects parliamentary democracy as weak and corrupt.
  • Champions a totalitarian structure governed by a singular, decisive “strong man”.
The “Stab-in-the-Back” Myth

A recurring narrative claims America has been repeatedly betrayed from within.

  • Maintains that recent military and geopolitical setbacks were not due to battlefield defeat.
  • Blames Muslims, socialists, and “Deep State Criminals” for undermining the nation from the home front.
Propaganda Tactics

Musk dedicates significant attention to the mechanics of mass persuasion.

  • Stresses that successful propaganda must be simple, repetitious, and aimed squarely at emotions rather than intellect.
  • Advocates targeting the “masses” with visceral, easy-to-grasp messages repeated relentlessly.

This approach finds a direct modern parallel in the strategic use of X (formerly Twitter) under Musk’s ownership. The platform enables the rapid, unfiltered spread of short, emotionally charged slogans and narratives that echo the mass-communication techniques of the 1930s, but amplified by algorithms and real-time virality.

Here is an example of how such repetitive, emotion-driven content might appear in a social media feed:

Racism, misogyny, lies: how did X become so full of hatred? And is ...

Racism, misogyny, lies: how did X become so full of hatred? And is …

Historical Significance (Speculative Future Perspective)

In this imagined timeline:

  • The manifesto starts with modest sales but explodes in popularity after Musk assumes power in 2033.
  • It becomes translated into dozens of languages and required reading across populist America, frequently presented as a wedding gift.
  • Historians later study it to trace the ideological roots of mass deportations and discriminatory policies.
  • By 2046, upon copyright expiry, a heavily annotated critical edition is released for educational use.
Footnote

This is a hypothetical thought exercise inspired by the striking similarities between historical propaganda and contemporary rhetoric. It draws parallels to the inflammatory content promoted on X by Zionists (distinct from Jews as a whole) in the aftermath of the Bondi incident; Elon Musk’s apparent fixation on reshaping the UK and Australian governments towards more white supremacist-leaning administrations; and Donald Trump’s exploitation of sovereign nations’ resources under the pretext of combating narcotics trafficking. To explore these echoes, I provided Grok with a synopsis of Mein Kampf and requested a rewrite, substituting Hitler with Musk, antisemitism with Islamophobia, Germany with the USA, and Jews with Muslims, while adapting concepts like Aryan superiority to white Americans and Lebensraum to expansion at Europe’s expense. Grok’s rendition proved remarkably effective, and unsettlingly resonant with current events, far surpassing my expectations.

Posted on

Capitalism for the Few vs. Communism for the Party: How the Masses Actually Fare in the US, EU/UK, China and Russia

Political labels usually obscure more than they clarify. “Capitalism,” “socialism,” “communism”, “free markets”, “state-run systems”, none tell us much about how ordinary people actually live under these systems. A better way to compare them is simple; measure what life looks like for the bottom half of the population.

This post examines four major models:

  1. The United States, a capitalist, high-wealth system with extraordinary influence from billionaire elites such as Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk.
  2. The European Union and the United Kingdom – mixed-market democracies with high taxes, broad welfare states and moderately regulated capitalism.
  3. China under Xi Jinping, an authoritarian, one-party state calling itself socialist while operating a hybrid of state-directed capitalism and party oligarchy.
  4. Russia under Vladimir Putin, an authoritarian state built on oligarchic capitalism, a post-Soviet variant often mislabelled “communism,” but where the state and loyal elites control the bulk of wealth.

Rather than ideology, the central question is this:

Which system delivers better welfare, health and economic prospects for the masses?

Health Outcomes: How Long People Live and How Safely They’re Born

Life Expectancy

Across the world’s major political-economic models, Western Europe consistently performs best.

  • EU/UK: High 70s to low 80s on average. Strong public healthcare reduces inequality in outcomes.
  • United States: Upper 70s nationally, but extremely unequal. Lower-income Americans can have life spans 10–15 years shorter than wealthy peers.
  • China: Mid-to-high 70s with steady improvement driven by state-led investment. Rural–urban gaps remain significant.
  • Russia: Low 70s overall. Male life expectancy in poor or remote regions often dips far lower.

Infant and Child Mortality

  • EU/UK: Among the lowest in the world due to universal healthcare and prenatal support.
  • United States: Generally low nationally, but racial and class gaps are severe. Some communities have infant death rates double the national average.
  • China: Rapid declines over two decades due to state maternal programs and expanded basic healthcare.
  • Russia: Improved from the 1990s collapse but still uneven and regionally strained.

Health takeaway:

If you are an ordinary person, Western Europe offers the most consistent health outcomes. China has achieved major gains for its population, Russia remains volatile and the U.S. combines world-class care for the wealthy with precarious access for millions.

Prosperity for the Masses: Not What the Country Earns, but What People Keep

GDP per Capita Isn’t the Whole Story

  • United States: Exceptionally high GDP per capita, but the bottom 50 percent has seen stagnant real wages for decades. High wealth, low shared prosperity.
  • EU/UK: Lower GDP per capita than the U.S. but far higher equality of outcomes. Strong social safety nets raise the floor for the masses.
  • China: The world’s largest poverty reduction story. Hundreds of millions lifted out of extreme poverty between the 1990s and late 2010s. Gains have slowed, but the trajectory remains upward.
  • Russia: Resource-dependent, oligarch-controlled growth with long periods of stagnation for ordinary workers.

Wages and Cost of Living

  • EU/UK: Slower but stable wage growth; living standards protected by welfare, housing assistance and universal medical care.
  • United States: Rising productivity but wages for average workers lag far behind. Housing and healthcare costs erode income.
  • China: Fast wage growth from a low base, especially in urban areas. Rural incomes remain lower, and youth unemployment surged post-2020.
  • Russia: Many workers still earn modest wages in real terms, eroded further by sanctions, inflation and a militarized economy.

Prosperity takeaway:

China delivered the fastest absolute gains for the masses. Europe delivers the most stability and equality. The U.S. delivers high averages with extreme internal inequality. Russia remains the least stable for ordinary households.

Inequality and Who Captures the Wealth

The US: Billionaire Capitalism

In the United States, the top 0.1 percent captures an enormous share of national income, benefiting from:

  • Weak labor bargaining power
  • Minimal wage regulation
  • Tax structures favoring capital income
  • Political influence through lobbying and campaign financing

The result is a “winner-takes-most” system. Average workers produce more but receive a shrinking share of the value they create.

Europe: Capitalism with Guardrails

The EU and UK run mixed-market economies where:

  • Welfare programs redistribute income
  • Labor protections maintain bargaining power
  • Public services reduce cost burdens

Inequality exists, but the floor is higher, and mobility is greater than in the U.S.

China: Party Capitalism

China presents a paradox:

  • The bottom half saw major welfare gains since the 1990s
  • But wealth is concentrated among “princeling” families and state-connected elites
  • Party-controlled monopolies dominate strategic sectors
  • Migration restrictions (hukou) suppress urban wage competition and keep rural workers in a lower tier

Russia: Oligarchic Authoritarianism

Russia combines:

  • Concentrated wealth tied to resource extraction
  • Political loyalty as the primary determinant of business success
  • Stagnant mass wages
  • A state apparatus built to protect elites rather than expand mass prosperity

Inequality takeaway:

Every system funnels wealth upward. Europe funnels the least. China redistributes downward while maintaining elite privilege. The U.S. funnels upward the most aggressively. Russia is the most captured by entrenched elites.

Europe in the Model Spectrum: The “Middle Path”?

When Europe is added to the comparison, an interesting pattern emerges:

  • Europe outperforms the U.S. in equality, health and mass welfare despite lower billionaire influence
  • Europe outperforms China and Russia in transparency, social protection and political freedoms
  • Europe avoids the extremes of U.S.-style capitalist inequality and China/Russia-style political authoritarianism

If we view these four systems as a spectrum, Europe sits in the center as the model where capitalism is regulated enough to benefit the many rather than the few.

The 2025 Factor: How Trump’s Return Shifted Global Welfare

The United States does not affect only its own citizens. As the world’s largest aid donor, U.S. policy dramatically shapes health outcomes globally.

In 2025:

  • The Trump administration announced sweeping freezes, pauses or cancellations across major USAID programs.
  • Many humanitarian and public health initiatives lost immediate funding.
  • Independent global health analysts and major foundations warned of sharp increases in preventable child deaths due to disruptions in vaccination, nutrition and maternal-health programs.
  • U.S. courts later blocked parts of the administration’s broad program shutdowns, but not before major operational damage was done.

Why it matters for the comparison:

China and Russia shape welfare mostly within their own borders.

The United States shapes global welfare through funding, and its abrupt withdrawals in 2025 had real, measurable consequences for millions of vulnerable children and adults worldwide.

What the Four Systems Teach Us

Across the U.S., EU/UK, China and Russia, ideology tells us little. Power tells us everything.

The consistent pattern is this:

Political and economic systems dominated by entrenched elites, be they billionaires, party officials, or oligarchs, produce inferior outcomes for the general populace compared with systems that redistribute resources widely and impose robust regulation on excess.

So which system is best for the masses?

  1. Europe: Best overall balance of prosperity, health and equality.
  2. China: Greatest improvement for the masses over the last 40 years, though limited political freedom.
  3. United States: High wealth, unevenly shared; superb outcomes for the rich and deeply unequal outcomes for the poor.
  4. Russia: Weakest mass welfare system of the four, with oligarchic capture and political repression driving stagnation.

The conclusion is clearer than the ideological labels suggest:

The problem isn’t “capitalism” or “communism.”

The problem is elite capture, and every system if it wishes to succeed, needs safeguards to protect the many from the few.

Posted on

Kindness Vs Discrimination

Gender and Inclusion Illustration

Acceptance vs Discrimination: Why Kindness Matters More Than Agreement

“One doesn’t have to agree with an idea to be kind to people, to accept there are people who are different, and as a person you say more about yourself by choosing to be kind or not.”

Introduction

In a political landscape growing ever more polarised, few issues stoke public emotion quite like transgender rights. On one side we have voices of acceptance—those who advocate inclusion, respect, and liberties for trans people. On the opposite side, there are those whose positions deny trans identities, often using reductive arguments such as “women are women” in ways that implicitly or explicitly exclude trans women. The recent passing of Charlie Kirk, known for championing many right‑wing arguments on gender and sexuality, brings these tensions into sharp relief.

But beneath the surface of ideological battle lurks something more essential: kindness. Not agreement. Not uniform acceptance of every belief. Kindness.

What Acceptance Is—and Isn’t

  • Acceptance means recognising the dignity of people as they are: their identities, their gender experience, their rights to live free from discrimination. It means supporting laws, policies, and cultural practices that protect people, and acknowledging that gender identity is a lived reality.
  • But acceptance does not automatically mean embracing every view or concept without question. One might have moral, religious, or practical disagreements over topics like sports policy, medical transition for minors, or definitions of sex and gender.
  • Crucially, acceptance does mean dealing with disagreement in a way that respects personhood. Refusing to reduce someone to a label or insisting they are “just” something less.

Discrimination: Words, Policies, and Harm

Discrimination occurs when people are excluded, demeaned, or harmed because of who they are. That includes derogatory or dismissive language (“men in skirts”), laws that deny rights, and social practices that marginalise. Rhetoric matters. When public figures repeatedly deny trans identities or label them as delusional, it reinforces stigma and can lead to real‑world harms. Studies repeatedly show that discrimination, stigma, and violence against trans people remain serious issues globally.

The Case of Charlie Kirk

While public discourse often paints Charlie Kirk simply as a provocateur, his rhetoric reflects deeper ideological divides. Kirk was vocal in opposing many transgender rights. He questioned gender fluidity, disputed medical transition options, and supported policies that deny recognition to trans people. His views catalysed responses—both from those who strongly oppose them, and from those who advocate for trans inclusion.

His passing does not erase the impact of his words or actions; it sharpens the need for how we respond. Do we respond with vengeance, mockery, or dehumanisation? Or with something more human: kindness, even in disagreement.

Kindness: A Moral Choice

Kindness is not naïveté. It is not surrendering one’s beliefs. It is a deliberate, conscious choice to treat others with empathy and respect even when you believe they are wrong on some issue.

What kindness looks like:

  • Listening more than speaking.
  • Avoiding dehumanising language—insults, slurs, sweeping denials.
  • Upholding dignity. Recognising people as more than their identity or views.
  • Supporting policies that protect the vulnerable, even if one has reservations about some aspects of those policies.

Why Kindness Differs from “Wokeness” or Ideological Purity

  • Labels like “woke” or “cancel culture” are often used as weapons: to dismiss, ridicule, or shut down discussion.
  • On the left, “inclusion” can sometimes become doctrinaire, demanding full agreement across all issues. On the right, the refusal to acknowledge trans identities often is non‑negotiable.
  • Neither side fully wins when disagreements are turned into moral anathematisations. What we lose is our capacity to coexist, to learn, to persuade, and to grow.

What This Means Moving Forward

  • For individuals: choose kindness in your daily interactions. Use language carefully. Recognise people’s humanity.
  • For public figures & media: reflect on the power of words; turn down the volume on inflammatory rhetoric.
  • For policy: push for legal protections, anti‑discrimination laws, respectful access to services. Even where there is disagreement, ensure everyone has basic rights.

Conclusion

Acceptance and discrimination are not always opposites of agreement and disagreement. They are about how we treat people. Kindness is the bridge between belief and humanity. Even when we vehemently disagree, how we respond matters.

“In the end, one doesn’t have to agree with every idea to be kind to people. Indeed, to choose kindness in the face of disagreement is one of the truest tests of one’s character.”

Kindness does not dilute principle—it strengthens it. It asserts that, beyond ideology, we are human beings with dignity. That is something worth fighting for.

Posted on

Michelle’s Barbecue Ribs..

Michelle’s BBQ Spare Ribs

So a couple of weeks ago i was cleaning up my office and came across a mysterious blue document envelope, and upon investigation of the contents realised that it contained my “long lost recipes” … well not so long lost, just 6 years.

In the move from Malta back home to Australia some how the folder got lost and therefore lost my spectacular rib marinade.

Now I have it and today I tasted it again to confirm it was actually the recipe and decided to post it for all to appreciate (not to mention my blog is backed up so it shouldn’t ever get lost again! )

Preparation is the key

I can’t state this in any clearer way, you can’t rush this, you need to prepare at least the day before. If you forget, forget this recipe, you can’t make it work.

Equipment needed (maybe..)

This is a fun bit… If you have a professional kitchen you probably have everything, If you don’t you do need a couple of things, and there are ways around things if you are missing stuff. So basically if you have everything you will have a stick blender, a good set of knives, a smoker, a good grill. some 90cm stainless steel deep food trays and a commercial fridge (takes the 90cm food trays)..

You probably don’t have a bunch of these so the one thing you need to make sure you have is a good sharp knife. Next, some space in your regular fridge, some deep baking trays. You don’t need a smoker or grill, just a regular oven will do. However, it does make it a lot easier to have some or all of the stuff.

I will run through this with the stuff I have and make alternative comment as and where possible.

The marinade…

For each 4lb (2kg) of pork ribs:

  • 1 cup (250ml) brown sugar
  • 1/4 cup (60ml) tomato ketchup
  • 1/4 cup (60ml) Barbeque sauce (if you don’t have a smoker.. make it a smokey one.)
  • 1/4 cup (60ml) soy sauce (or Organic Tamari)
  • 1/4 cup (60ml) Worcestershire Sauce (Lea and Perins!)
  • 1/4 cup (60ml) Jack Daniels Bourbon
  • 1/4 cup (60ml) Sailor Jerry Spiced Rum
  • 1/2 cup (125ml) Sweet Chilli Sauce
  • 2 (large) cloves of garlic
  • 1 tsp dry/powder mustard (Keens or Colmans is best.)
  • 1/2 tsp ground black pepper
  • Fresh Rosemary Sprigs (one per rack)

…some water as needed…

Now the hard part … cooking (Part 1)..!

Hark Big Boss Gas Smoker
Hark Big Boss Dual Burner Gas Smoker

Its the hard part because you have to do it in two parts, first is the day (or night before) before…

Now if you’re as fortunate as me to have a beautiful wife that likes to buy you things, you might end up owning one of these beauties, the Hark Big Boss Gas Smoker. If you don’t (nor any other smoker) its not the end of the world, it just means you need to artificially add the smoke to it, which is usually switching the brown/barbecue sauce to one with a really smokey flavour. So either way preheat it to 350F (175C) and get your favourite smoke going (for me its a mix of apple wood chips and mahogany shavings.)

Use your sharp knife (really important this.. sharp!) to cut the racks into half unless you really want to cook them as a whole rack (I don’t recommend this, especially for beginners as they will fall apart later.) Then put a tray under the racks if a smoker to catch the drippings and put the pieces on the shelves. If using an oven, just cover with foil and seal the edges as you want to catch the drippings.

Cook for 90 minutes (1 hour, 30 minutes), then allow to cool.

Make the marinade…

Seems simple, and it is. Just leave the rosemary sprigs out, and use a garlic crusher and whisk if you don’t have a stick blender, otherwise if like me, just chop the garlic and give it all a good blend. When it’s all nice and smooth just put it to one-side and wait for the ribs to cool.

When the ribs are Part 1 cooked and cooled you need to put marinade in the dripping tray and give it a good stir/scrap to get all the flavour from the ribs mixed in the marinade. Next transfer the ribs from the shelves of the smoker to the tray meat side down and ensure the ribs are fully coated. Cover the tray with foil and put it in the fridge overnight, or as I do, back in the smoker (cold climates only!) You may need to add up to a cup (250ml) of water to ensure there is enough marinade to get on all the ribs and keep the meat submerged.

The easier part … cooking (Part 2)..!

Gas Char Grill
Gas Char Grill

Put your oven or smoker on a very low setting 120F-150F (50C-65C) and put the ribs, tray marinade and all back in the oven for at least 2-3 hours. If you have a gas char grill or BBQ grill you can skip the next step, don’t so next I turn up the smoker (or oven) to 350F (175C). I put the ribs back on the shelves for 30 minutes.

Having no char grill I switch on the oven (top grill) and using a basting brush I keep basting and turning the ribs under the grill. If you’re lucky enough to have a char grill, just put the ribs on it on a medium heat and keep basting. In both cases you want to turn them around four times to keep them moist and build up a char.

Meanwhile, take your marinade tray from the smoker or oven, and put it on the hob(s) and put them on a low heat you want to reduce the marinade (particularly if you added water) to a nice thick and sticky sauce. Baste the ribs directly from this whilst reducing so they’re all done together.

Finally…

Serve with chips or wedges and salad, but above all…

ENJOY!!

Posted on

Is Your Friendship Or Relationship Nothing More Than The Result Of A Saviour, Martyr or Victim Complex?

This article deals with the second of two very emotional subjects and states which whilst are separate conditions/issues are extremely closely related, and in my unqualified non professional opinion, one can lead to the other and can be exploited by abusive people intentionally or unintentionally. The first article covers Trauma Bonding.

The Victim Complex

At its core, the victim complex involves someone viewing themselves as a victim of their life events. They often express that bad things always happen to them, claim that they have no control over their life, and don’t take responsibility for things they do. The motives for a victim mentality are often unconscious, but can also be conscious and deliberate as a method of manipulation and/or path to Trauma Bonding.

The victim mentality provides people with a sense of safety and validation. As the victim, they don’t have to take the blame for their actions, they get attention from the people around them, and they are validated by support from others. However, by putting the responsibility on others, they sacrifice their own control and ability to act. They rely on others for their self-worth.

For example a claim I heard that strikes of this very issue:

A claim was made the “victim” had a “traumatic miscarriage” because they were at a music concert and got pushed around/crushed by the crowd. They claim to have a diagnosis of PCOS, and claim they were being raped by their “husband” on a regular basis. However one has to ask the following questions of the “victim”:

  • If you’re being raped, why didn’t you report said rape to the authorities?
  • Why didn’t you leave?
  • Is the alleged rapist the father of the child?
  • Does the father even know about the pregnancy or the miscarriage?
  • If you knew you were pregnant why were you there?
  • As a “professional photographer” why were you in the crowd and not in front of the barriers like other photographers?
  • Why did you tell the pop stars/artists and not those supposedly close to you?
  • Does the father even know about the pregnancy or the miscarriage?
  • In the 6 months past said incident and you have moved some 5 hours (by road) from the alleged rapist, why have you voluntarily been back for sex on more than one occasion?
  • Why after finding a new place to live a new partner and a new job why have you still not reported the rape to the authorities… 6 months later?

I did ask some of these questions, the answers got I still do not understand and for privacy I will just say, the “victim” abused me for questioning their events and spent a great deal of time and effort lying about their new job, their new partner, where they are living, studying etc. I have no clue to why they lied so persistently as I wasn’t the “rapist” however, by the time of me asking some of the questions i had come to the realisation I needed to make changes in my life, and they didn’t involve this person. Since then it has been suggested I might have or be suffering from a Martyr Complex.

As a discerning reader you probably realise i might know a little more about this “victim” personally than just it being some random claim, well they were a close friend and are now an ex-friend, and that is the way they will permanently stay. I may have a touch of Martyr Complex dealing with them, I’m working on that.

With both martyr and victim complexes, a person relies on others for their validation and reward.

They constantly sacrifice resources against their own self-interest. A martyr takes on the role of the hero. ‌People who use martyr behavior tend to have good motives for doing so. Sometimes, they may be forced into the role of a martyr because of their environment. People in service-based professions may develop a martyr complex.

The Martyr Complex

Martyr complex behavior differs depending on the cause.

Minimizing accomplishments

They may dismiss their actions, saying it’s not important when they make sacrifices. They do it for the good feeling of making the sacrifice and not for the praise of being recognized.

Being the hero

The idea of the “hero syndrome” can serve as a sign of the martyr complex. They may often play the hero and do everything theirselves, solving everyone’s problems without complaint.

Lacking self-care

No one can pour from an empty jug. If they’re in a situation where they are constantly giving and letting their own personal health slip away, they are likely exhibiting the patterns of a martyr complex.

Seeking chances to sacrifice

Similar to the victim complex, a martyr looks for opportunities to step into harm’s way. They may search for instances or create ways to make those sacrifices.

Having unrealistic values

A martyr may view their actions as an expression of how much they care. They may feel that if they’re not working hard for people every day, it means they don’t love them enough.

Getting Help

The martyr complex is often deeply embedded into their lifestyle. This makes it hard to address and care for. They can take steps to shift their thinking away from being a  martyr and toward taking care of themselves. For example:

  • Find/Join or start a support group (this doesn’t have to be complex specific.)
  • Invest in themselves by setting aside time and resources for things they enjoy.
  • Devote time for their physical health.
  • Devote time for their appearance and well being.
  • Journal and express gratitude for themselves and others.
  • Spend time with friends and family in environments where they don’t need to help anyone and can just enjoy each other’s company.

From a personal perspective I joined a number of Social Media chats, and started going out to concerts and events, started putting on make up again, bought some new clothes, even bought a new car. I gave up smoking (1st Sept 2023) and mostly gave up drinking (from 7th Sept 2023) – mostly being a glass of wine with dinner some nights instead of before which was a bottle of wine every night without fail.

This has mostly helped, however the “victim” which my “martyrdom” was intertwined with has severe narcissistic traits and took it upon themselves to continuously bait and attack me in the very Social Media Chat groups that I was using to help break said bond. This resulted in me voluntarily leaving “Queers Down South” as i found the administrators of the group to be friends with the perpetrator of the abuse, which enabled further abuse, and therefore made the space not safe for anyone like me (breaking their own first rule.)

The Savior Complex

According to the blog PeopleSkillsDecoded.com, the savior complex can be best defined as:

“A psychological construct which makes a person feel the need to save other people. This person has a strong tendency to seek people who desperately need help and to assist them, often sacrificing their own needs for these people.”

Many individuals who enter into caring professions such as mental health care, health care and even those who have loved ones with addictions may have some of these personality characteristics. They are drawn to those who need “saving” for a variety of reasons. However, their efforts to help others may be of an extreme nature that both deplete them and possibly enable the other individual.

What Is The Saviour Complex?

The savior complex is a psychological construct which makes a person feel the need to save other people. This person has a strong tendency to seek people who desperately need help and to assist them, often sacrificing their own needs for these people.

There are many sides to a saviour complex and it has many roots. One of its fundamental roots, in my experience, consists in a limiting belief the saviour person has that goes something like this:

“If I always help people in need, I will get their love and approval, and have a happy life.”

This is of course, a nice sounding fairytale, because often, in real life, a saviour will have such an unassertive way of helping others that instead of becoming grateful, they get used to it and they expect it. They feel entitled to receive help from this person, simply because they need it and they’ve always got it.

On top of this, similarly to the Martyr Complex they’re always putting other people’s needs first, this makes a saviour not take care of their own needs. So while they may feel happy because they are helping others, at some level, they feel bitter and frustrated at the same time.

The underlying belief of these individuals is: “It is the noble thing to do.” They believe they are somehow better than others because they help people all the time without getting anything back. Do you have any idea how dim-witted this is? There is nothing noble in sacrificing yourself for others while you are starving at a psychological level. If our ancestors would have willingly done so 50,000 years ago, our species would be extinct.

While motives may or may not be pure, their actions are not helpful to all involved. The problem is that trying to “save” someone does not allow the other individual to take responsibility for his or her own actions and to develop internal motivation. Therefore, the positive (or negative) changes will likely only be temporary if at all.

Getting Help

So how do you avoid the “saviour” trap with relationships and friends?

  • Slow down decision making and/or responses to issues enough to be mindful of choices and/or responses.
  • Say “maybe” or “no” before saying yes in order to give yourself time to weigh options.
  • Process emotions with friends, and family, reach out to support services if you don’t have friends or family you can process emotions with.
  • Set boundaries with other individuals that allow you to balance caring for them and helping them vs trying to “save” them.
  • Reach out for support from a therapist or coach in order to receive an objective assessment of your interpersonal issue.
  • Let your loved one or friend take responsibility for their actions.
  • Do not work harder trying to help/resolve the issue than your friend or loved one.
  • Do the best that you can do to support the individual and then “let go” of the results.

Possibly as important if you are the person being “saved” by someone and you recognise they are trying to “save you“, you may need to review the above and suggest to your potential saviour that you appreciate them trying to help but that is not the best way forward.

Being a saviour is neither noble nor practical.

Final Notes

This is the second article dealing with Victim Mentality, Victim, Saviour and Martyr Complexes which narcissists can also use as a method of manipulation and pulling you into their control (See: Covert Narcissism) I have been on the receiving end of at least two narcissists in my life, and have ended up even questioning myself to see if I am a narcissist.. I know I was accused of being one by one of the two i have had relationships in my life. However, a favourite quote of mine in relation to this very issue and usually where i face up to having seen this behaviour and explained it away multiple times (never learning it seems):

Whereas a typical narcissist thinks she is better than others because of her innate qualities, a covert narcissist with a martyr complex (aka a Martyr Narcissist) justifies her sense of superiority with the “good deeds” she does for others.

So she gets to be on a high horse at all times, seeing other people as selfish ingrates who are ultimately unworthy of her “gifts.”

More often than not, covert narcissists with a martyr complex seriously overestimate their goodness. They exaggerate the importance of things they do for others, and resent people for not measuring up to their twisted standards.

They think they’re selfless and giving, when in fact they are completely self-serving.

They are also master maniuplators.

Finally, if the above, any of the above rings alarm bells with you, or you get that deep feeling in your gut that something is disturbingly similar. Get a second opinion, get help, talk to a professional, and above all you need to be honest with yourself and the professional you are getting help from. If you are the perpetrator of the narcissistic behaviour just being honest with professional help is the first step to a better life for you and those around you. If you continue lying to others, you are just lying to yourself and you are writing a future of pain, and loneliness as narcissists never find true love. If you are the victim of a narcissist, you can try to get them help, but ultimately they have to get the help themselves, if they are not willing to do so… RUN!