Gay marriage… the rights, the wrongs, and ‘what next?’

So today have been a really interesting day, not one but two issues came up to talk about, today I’m only going to blog about the latter of the two are it’s certainly considered controvercial, but its also an ongoing ‘current affairs’ issue… “Gay marriage”

Before I start, I will say this blog is not intended to offend anyone and I apologise in advance if you are offended.  My point is to inform, not offend.

I have seen the arguments going on around the world for some time, both sides have valid points, but I think both sides are not focussing on the actual issue.

  • First you have the Church (and church going people).. their argument is marriage is a sacred thing and only something that can be regconised before God.
  • Second you have the Gay people of the world, they want the rights of anyone married. They don’t want to be discrimated against, they want any benefits of a married person, so they want to “get married”.

Now there are clearly at least two seperate reasons to it.

  • First, Gay people want the rights of a married person, this is not a marriage issue, this is an issue in law.
  • Second, Gay people want to have their partnership union recognised as the same as a non Gay couple, ie they want to be married.

So now we have the main issues lets look at the history. Marriage is a word that belongs to the church, anyone fighting for ‘gay marriage’ is trying to change history, and in most cases they have not considered that by calling it ‘gay marriage’ they have already created a distinction that makes it different from ‘marriage’… so that is not the answer.

So why does the word marriage belong to the church you ask next…? Well lets look at the history of the word itself. Back before laws on marriage to get married you went to the church, there was no register of Births, Marriages and Deaths outside of the Church. The laws came later and the governments of the world used the church term in their documentation, so it became part of society. However, partnerships have existed for long before the church, people lived together as families without ever being married, without ever being legally joined. In fact if we look at nature (Gods other creations) we see these partnerships, this coupling of two animals even today. Many birds, will partner for life (certain types of duck for example)… they will only couple with one partner ever. This is nature, this is the way God created the world. The are many examples in the world where animals other than homosapiens (us humans) partner and/or have casual sex with same sex partners.. again another of Gods creations, so any man or woman that says that being Gay is not Gods way is telling you that they don’t know the real teachings of God. The Church I have said (and I mean all churches/religions) are “mans” creation, they are “mans” interpretation of what God wants, these are not the word of God. We can see the word of God in what God created for us to see in the world, what we see in nature… So that in mind, the word “marriage” is a man-made creation that defines the partnership of a man and a woman. Live with it, accept it, deal with it.

Now.. laws are also man-made, and define how we live our lives whether we are part of the church or not. They define how legal benefits and rights may be obtained or are enforced. They define the law in which we live… So what’s the point…? Well it’s simple, stop arguing about the word ‘marriage’ stop trying to make ‘marriage’ legal between a man and a man or a woman and a woman, you won’t win the argument and you won’t win with good reason. Instead as for the laws to be changed to recognise a ‘civil union’ a union of two people that confirms in law that they are partners, that they have the rights and restrictions of anyone who up to now is ‘married’. Same thing isn’t it? Well not quite because recognising a civil union in law may give Gay people the rights of someone married but it’s still called something else. So what’s the answer, well read on…

The church (and some governments of the world) state clearly that marriage is creating a family, it’s about family values. So why don’t we create families instead of getting married, well some do. In the UK (and other countries) where ‘civil union’ laws exist, a person gets ‘married’ or ‘joined’ in a registry office, and finialise it with a signing of the Register of Births, Deaths and Marriages. People (heterosexual couples) can get married in church, some do, some don’t. At sea, anyone who wishes to get married may ask the captain of the ship to marry them…. There is no church involved, there is however a ceremony, which at the end of it, when the ship reaches shore, the happy couple must regularise by signing the register of Births, Deaths and Marriages. So really what are we doing by requiring people to sign the Register is getting them to sign a register of “Births, Deaths, and Partners” or a register of “Births, Deaths and Families”. So, lets change the name of the register, lets forget the word Marriage, lets change the laws and the register to indicate what it really is, a register of Births, Deaths and Couples, take away the ‘Marriage’ component.

Next what do we need to do, well simply we need to replace the word marriage in the relevant laws and replace it with something that means the joining of two people in the same way marriage is the joining of a man and a woman. A conversation I had earlier suggested ‘unionized’ (I disagree with this as it has other connotations in other countries. I suggested ‘lawful partnership’ and it was suggested that would devalue the union below marriage. Suggestions obviously needed here, another conversation suggested a, ‘spousalisation’ .. wow what a mouthful! 😉 Other suggestions I have seen are ‘amarriage’ and ‘monasticism’ (another mouthful there, but technically accurate)… Either way, lets stop fighting between the church and the non church people, stop fighting between homosexual and hetrosexual people about it. Lets come together as God wishes and let people live their lives as they wish as *family*, for it is God’s wish (regardless of the name of your God) for people to live as families, be good to others and lead a productive life.

Now I am not suggesting at any point that people no longer get ‘married’, if a man and woman wish to go to church and get ‘married’ allow them that right, allow the church the right to say marriage is the joining of a man and a woman – only. Instead in regular society, change how we define the joining of two people as legal and life partners call it something else for *everyone*, allow people to say for instance, we are in a legal partnership, and for those men and women who choose to do so say “we also got married”. Lets legislate that forms may not ask if you are married, but instead if you are in a legal partnership (or any other name that is used legally.) Lets make both sides happy, lets join people, allow the church to keep their definition of marriage, and change the word used in regular society for the joining of *any* couple whether both male, both female or a man and a woman. Stop the arguments and work together for families as this is what the world is in desperate need of affirming.


  • References taken from: Marriage Watch on Major World Religions on the Question of Marriage
  • I am a transsexual (male to female) that is Gay – I only date women (legally I am a woman, I date women, therefore I am legally gay. The church defines me as a man and therefore will allow me to ‘marry’ a woman.. go figure!)
  • I am not a believer in the church (any church/religion) I am agnostic, i.e. I believe in a higher power that people refer to as their God, I do not know it’s name, I do not care or need to know it’s name, I believe it is there, and it will judge me on my passing from this realm.

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