Category: Personal

Personal stuff relating to Michelle

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Relationships and Exes…

Today I spoke to my best friend and had a discussion about exes and host they affect current relationships so I thought I’d share my thoughts…

(Personal note to Jessica, when I said read my blog, I was referring to the previous post about “Top 5 Regrets of the Dying”, not this entry)

It seems that all relationships have an ending, some good, some bad, and some inevitable…  Of course the inevitable ones are that finish because of things out of our mortal control (such as old age).  Good and bad are on the other hand are completely in our control, and are often governed by our own conduct, and that conduct of those who become our exes.  The problem comes when we move into new relationships, as both the new partners will usually have exes and therefore some sort of ‘baggage’.

Baggage…

What is baggage really?  Well baggage is the memories and emotions of the previous relationships, it maybe physical, it may be emotional, it may just be simply memories.  As an ex of mine suggested, it is a ‘memory jingle’ ..  i.e. something, or some memory, that is associated with an object, person, movie, song, TV show, night club… etc.  Something that triggers the memory of something associated with an ex.

So is baggage a problem?  Well my break ups over the last few years seems to have focused on my baggage at some point.  Somewhere along the lines my exes have mentioned an ex as being an issue in my life.  In the case of my best friend, she has had problems with her ex that is affecting her current relationship in a damaging way.  Her current partner is patient and understanding, but has seen her reminiscing on several occasions and has assumed (correctly) that she was in thought about her ex.  This is obviously a problem.  Here’s the thing though, her current partner also has an ex, and has baggage that goes with that.  My latest ex, the baggage she had was phenomenal (and it was just her ex, it was several of her exes, all bad) and whilst it did affect me a little I kept it to a little as an effect as possible, because I know exactly what she went through.  I knew that over time with love and care I could rid her of those memory jingles, I could re-write her life to remove the baggage.  Unfortunately when it came to me, it got the better of her and she left because of her own baggage (according to her last message) way before I could help her re-write her life and realise that life is good, and douches like her exes don’t deserve anyone, let alone her.

So what is the solution to baggage..?  Well in reality the solution is time, care and love (in that order.) It is also the understanding that any two people have baggage, whether good or bad, and when you enter into a relationship you both need to grasp an understanding of the other person, what they have been through, and how to use that to build a stronger bond between the two of you.  You do need to put the past behind you (I have heard this said so many times) but when people say it, they say it without knowing what it really means.  Putting the past behind you, does not mean forgetting what happened, it does not mean, bury it and don’t talk about it, it means use the memories to build a better life with someone new.  Talk about what happened, talk about what you want to do, and be patient with the other person, they might talk about their ex way more than you, but it could also be that you talk about your ex as much as them, they just don’t remind you of it when you do.

Personally I talk about my ex-wife Alison a lot, I do so in a good way, I don’t recall any major arguments until the relationship and marriage came to an end, and it came to an end because I am a trans-sexual, and whilst she has no prejudices she married a man, and couldn’t cope with the idea, personally, of being married to a woman.  I respect that and as such we are still friends, in fact when I was recently telling her about my proposed marriage she asked if I would allow her to ‘give me away’ to my blushing bride to be.  I also talk about ‘The Mother of My Son’ (sorry Claire, but that is how I refer to you, to others) we had a very rocky and very explosive relationship that ended and returned many times over 8 years, but we are friends now and talk regularly thanks to the wonders of modern technology and social networking.  Other exes I refer to, the obvious one and “The EX!”, my psycho-stalker Katie Crothers, she really messed me up mentally (whether deliberately or not) that has taken months if not years to recover from (and to be honest, I’m not recovered, but at least I am functional now.)  I even think back to my very first “proper” girlfriend Jayne, a woman who I have not seen in 20 years, but every time I hear, “Toyboy”, “I should be so lucky” or “Green Door” played on the radio I immediately remember her in such a fond way.

 

My thoughts for a happy life with your new partner and their ex…

The human mind is an amazing thing, and whilst you can damage it very easily, over time it will recover, some take longer than others, some injuries take longer than others, we all heal differently (and in different ways.)  If you get in a relationship with someone that refers to their ex, before you think badly, before you fly off with “You’re still in that relationship and not with me” or “You are just trying to replace them with me” thoughts, step back and think, you also have an ex, and even if you haven’t mentioned anything to your current partner, you still think about one of your exes when ever you hit one of those “memory jingles”…

Of course, lastly, if your ex does say something about you talking about your ex, take the time to think about it, you might be obsessing.. It is definitely worth talking through, but neither of you should make assumptions about the others state of mind, all you need to do is talk about it, and if you are about to say something, just bare in mind, that your partner talking about their good times is a good thing, the person is giving you tips about what makes them happy…  You can use that to improve your bond and over-write those jingles with memories of you…!

 

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The Top 5 Regrets of The Dying.. and more..

 

So today was feeling sorry for myself, and was browsing and I came upon the following article about regrets of people dying.  A worthwhile read for all, and I can safely say I have checked all the boxes for this one.  This thought cheered me up and I began thinking about them and about other things I live by and I have see happening to others both past and present friends.  In many cases I see love being the biggest regret, and for the biggest heart ache in many lives, and indeed when I see the two together the result can often be resolved and happier lives lived when you consider the following statements.

  1. Follow your heart no matter where it takes you!
  2. Work out whether you are in love, or whether you love a person.

So what do they really mean…?

Well first following your heart doesn’t mean do stupid stuff, like trying to break up a marriage for your own means, it means if you love someone and other parts of life get in the way..  Find a way, or move those obstacles out of the way.  For example, if you are gay/lesbian, don’t let society get in the way of your life, be with who you want to be, and if the society where you are persecutes people for that, move elsewhere in the world where people who matter care.  It also means move to the other side of the world if you need to.  Quite your job and/or transfer, its not hard, and if you are really good at what you do, you can always go back to it if things don’t work out.  If it means quitting something you like (e.g. eating fish, because the other person is mortally allergic to fish) give it up! It also means quitting work and going back to school to learn a new profession…  You heart is not just about love of someone else, it’s about love of things you do as well…  though in sincerity, I am referring more to matters of love between two people.

 

Second and the tricky one.. are you in love or do you love someone?  This is a question you should ask yourself if you ever feel like you are trapped in a relationship, this is the question you should ask if someone is telling you you can’t be with someone, this is the question you should ask if you are ever unsure about the person you are with, wanting to be with, wants you to be with them… particularly if you and them are thinking about re-starting a relationship that previously failed…

What does it mean..?  Well I’m not sure I can explain in words, but I will attempt.  When you love someone, it can be like your mum, dad, brother, sister, your child, a very close friend etc.. someone that should they be ‘not around’ any more, you’d miss them, you’d be upset to see them go.. more than you would just as a friend, but not necessarily as much as someone you’d jump in bed with to have sex (though not excluding that either.)  Someone you want to be with and share life with, someone who just ‘fits’ in with you.  When you are ‘in love’ with someone you have all those things that you would as you love them, but there is something more.  You think about them during your free thought moment, your mind wanders and they are there with you not matter where in the world they are.  You worry about them when you can’t contact them, you think about them when you go to bed at night, and when you wake in the morning.  You worship the ground beneath them (this can be in your mind, not in the real world, though a little bit of both goes a long way.)  You often cannot bare to be apart from them for more than a few hours (though again, not a rule as you can be in love with someone on the other side of the world.)  … I guess that’s the first things I can think of that describe the easiest things to explain about how I feel about the differences between loving someone and being in love with someone.  It also should tell you that if you are getting back with an ex, considering splitting up with a current partner, have a look at what you have.  If you love that person it doesn’t mean you should be with them, but it also means that you don’t necessarily have to be with them either…  You could love them like a friend, a mother, a father etc.. you could also love them and they not love you back (always the path to misery that one.)  One thing I have found though, no matter what, if you are ‘in love’ with someone, and they with you.. move heaven and earth to be with them, because therein lies true happiness.

 

Anyhow, enough of my posturing on love, the article as promised about the regrets of dying… and you will notice that some of the regrets are directly related to people not doing what I have said above (3 and 5!)

hand

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

“This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.”

2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.

“This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.”

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

“Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.”

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

“Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.”

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

”This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.”

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ARMS… The Saga continues…

So the saga continues… ARMS (Malta’s Automated Revenue Management Services company that collects electricity bills) have so far ignored me, ignored my lawyer, and ignored my emails… Today I received a letter (scans of the letter at the bottom of this page) threatening legal action and disconnection again… This is despite me sending the following letter to them a month previously (on the 4th December 2012)..

ENGLISH:

I am writing to you about a number of things, including a long standing
issue that is still not resolved. My next step is talk to Parliament
and the Times of Malta.

FIRST:

I bought a house here in Malta in June/July 2010, and was named on the
bill by the former owner as she changed the service from herself. I was
placed on a ‘Residential Rate’ even though I have a residency
certificate and I operate a commercial enterprise from my premises.

In September/October 2011 I was in the USA on business and the meter
reader came to my premises was unable to get an answer at the door (due
to me being 5000+ miles away in the USA.)

ARMS proceeded to ‘Estimate’ a reading (of only some 70ish units) and
mark the bill as a ‘N’ (Non Read) when the actual reading would have
shown considerably more (circa 11,000 units.)

In March 2012 an ARMS employee visited my premises and read the meter
(and the accurate read of some 20,000+ units) and shortly there after I
received a bill for some €12900+. Upon examining it I saw several errors:

1/ The law provided discounted rating had been disregarded and the
20,000 unit difference between the ‘non read’ and the current reading
had been pro-rated to just 6 months (rather than the law provided 12
months.)
2/ The bill showed ‘0 (zero) residents’ – This is wrong on 2 counts.
a/ I am a commercial (non-residential) entity
b/ I am a Maltese resident and therefore should not be paying the
‘Domestic’ ratings.

Shortly after I asked my lawyer and friend Ms G Spiteri to accompany me
to the ARMS office in Pieta for an explanation and correction. Both Ms
Spiteri and I were astonished when the ARMS staff member told us that it
was a computer programming error that could not be rectified (and would
not be rectified) without involvement from the CEO of ARMS. He then
proceeded to inform us that the incorrect tariff would not be corrected
without filling out a change of service form, which I had to download
from the website and fill in. I read your form and noted at the
signature line that there is a statement alluding to the change would
only be applied to the date of signing onwards. This is unacceptable as
it was not my mistake in the first instance.

In September 2012 I receive a ‘notice of disconnection’ from ARMS, I
informed Ms Spiteri, who wrote to yourselves indicating that you would
be held responsible to the amount of €1000 per 24 hour period in lost of
business earnings should you proceed. I repeated the same to your
customer care line, they indicated that I (rather than my lawyer) should
have contacted yourselves. Whom I chose to contact you is dependent on
your responses to me, and so far they have been such that I am
considering taking a very public class action suit against ARMS for this
completely discriminatory, defamatory, inadequate and prejudicial service.

I note that as of today (4 December 2012) responses have been slow (if
at all) and the service is still considered by yourselves as ‘Domestic’
My latest bill shows some €17000+ in arrears and it is getting to the
point when I think if it is even sorted out and I am billed at the
correct rate I will not be able to afford to pay the bill in a complete
hit and may be left with interest charges that you apply without any
credit agreement that enables such.

ALSO:

Last night I suffered 3 separate power outages when the ‘smart meter’
shut the supply off each time indicating ‘Over Usage by 18%’ … The
additional power I was consuming were an electric cooking ring (single)
and the oven. I am sure you are aware the power usage by said items
does not exceed what 3×3.5kw Airconditioning units and a 7kw unit would
use during the summer (which I was using this summer, without issue.) I
am fully aware the ‘Smart Meters’ are remote programmable and remote
controllable and as such you can remotely tell the unit to terminate the
supply at any time without my interaction. This means either one of 2
rational possibilities:

1/ Someone instigated a remote power outage.
2/ The meter is faulty and is incorrectly reading the power consumption.

(a third option would be someone stealing power, however with the
exception of the existing ground level wiring, I am fully aware of all
the connections and intersecting points of my installation as I
installed most of it myself, including additional grounding to bring the
installation to a greater safety level than required by Maltese law.)

The power outages caused several issues. First, I lost 7 days of work
(80 hours of work) due to it as it caused damage to one of my computers
that had not managed to complete it’s backup. Second, it was highly
dangerous to the members of the household, not to mention myself because
we were plunged into darkness, one person in the shower, myself cooking
with a hot deep fat fryer, and someone had to navigate through the dark
building and fumble in the electricity cupboard for the breaker to reset
it (had there been power this could have proved fatal.)

LASTLY:

Some time ago (possibly summer 2011) I requested a larger meter to be
installed in this premises as when the Smart Meter was installed they
installed a 60Amp meter which was lower than the original, and is
totally inadequate for a 4/5 bedroomed air conditioned house. I noted
on your website at that time that you had the option of a larger single
phase meter (80 amp) which is more realistic to the needs of a large
house. I was informed by the ARMS staff that there was no such meter
and I would have to “upgrade” to a 3 phase installation. The internal
wiring of this building is not suitable for a 3 phase installation,
though it is conceivable that I could separate out individual phases for
certain parts of the house. I was informed the cost would be in excess
of €3000 for the said ‘upgrade’ (as opposed to the website quoted change
of €300 for a larger meter – which would put me back to the original
meter size pre-smart meter.)

SUMMARY:

I am to date disgusted with the service of ARMS, I cannot get correct
billing, I cannot get responses from persons responsible, I have an
inadequate service that you refuse to change without exorbitant fees and
considerable inconvenience, not to mention the prejudicial and
discriminatory service I have received to date.

Michelle Sulivan

PS: Please reply in English.

MALTI:

Qed nikteb dwar numru ta’ affarijiet, inkluz kwistjoni antika li ghada
mhijiex rizolta. Il pass li jmiss minghandi huwa li nkellem
lill-Parlament u l-‘Times Of Malta’.

L-EWWEL:
Xtrajt dar hawn Malta f’ Gunju/Lulju 2010, u kont msemijja fuq il-kont
li kien miktub mill-proprjetarju precedenti kif qalbet is-servizz minn
isimha ghal fuq ismi. Kont fuq “Rata Residenzjali” anka jekk ghandi
certifikat tar-residenza u nopera intrapriza kummercjali mill-bini tieghi.

F’Settembru/Ottubru 2011 kont fl-Istati Uniti fuq negozju u it-tekniku
ta’ l-arlogg tad-dawl gie id-dar tieghi pero ma’ fetahlu hadd (peress li
kont 5000+ mili il-boghod fl-Istati Uniti.)

ARMS ipproċedew biex jghamlu “Stima” tal-qari (ta’ circa 70 units biss)
u mmarka l-kont bħala “N” (Non Read) meta l-qari attwali kien juri
konsiderevolment aktar (circa 11000 units.)

F’Marzu 2012 impjegat tal-ARMS żar il-post tiegħi u qara l-arlogg
tad-dawl (il-qari preċiż kien ta ‘xi 20,000 + units) u ftit wara
rcievejt kont ta xi € 12,900 +. Meta eżaminajt dan il qari sibt bosta
żbalji:

1 / Il-liġi provdiet rata skontata li kienu ġew injorati u l-20000 units
differenza bejn il-“non read ‘u l-qari attwali kien distribwit biss fuq
6 xhur (minflok skond il-liġi fuq 12-il xahar.)
2 / Il-kont wera 0 (żero) residenti “- Dan huwa ħażin ghal 2 ragunijiet.
a / Jiena entità kummerċjali (mhux residenzjali)
b / Jiena residenta’ Maltijja u għalhekk m’għandiex ghalfejn nħallas
ir-rati domestici.

Ftit wara tlabt l-avukata tiegħi u ħabiba Sinjura G Spiteri biex
takkumpanjani fl-uffiċċju tal-ARMS fi Pieta għal spjegazzjoni u
korrezzjoni. Kemm is-Sinjura Spiteri u jien konna ixxukjati meta
l-membru tal-persunal ARMS qalilna li dan kien żball ta ‘programmazzjoni
fil-kompjuter li ma setgħux jiġu rettifikati (u mhumiex ha jigu
rettifikati) mingħajr l-involviment mis-CEO tal-ARMS. Huwa mbagħad
infurmana li t-tariffa skorretta mux se tigi ikkoreġuta jekk il-forma
tal-bidla fis-servizz ma tigiex mimlijjha, u ghalek kelli nniżżilha
mill-websajt u nimlijha. Jien u naqra il-formola tiegħek innutajt
mill-linja tal-firma li hemm stqarrija tirreferi indirettament
għall-bidla li tigi applikata biss mid-data tal-iffirmar l-quddiem. Dan
mhuwiex aċċettabli għaliex ma kienx żball tiegħi fl-ewwel istanza.

F’s-Settembru 2012 irċievejt “avviż ta ‘skonnessjoni” minn ARMS, jiena
nfurmajt lis-Sinjura Spiteri, li kitbet lillkom infuskom li jindika li
inthom ser tkunu responsabbli għall-ammont ta’ € 1,000 fuq perjodu ta
kull ’24 siegħa ghat-telfa ta’ qligħ tan-negozju jekk tipproċedu.
Irripetejt l-istess lill-linja taghkom tal-‘customer care’, li ndikaw li
kelli nikkuntatjakom jien stess (minflok l-avukat tiegħi). Lil min
għażilt jikuntatjak huwa jiddipendi fuq it-tweġibiet tiegħek lili, u
s’issa kienu tali li jiena qed nikkonsidra nieħu azzjoni pubblika kontra
ARMS għal dan is-servizz kompletament diskriminatorju, malafamanti,
inadegwat u ta ‘preġudizzju.

Ninnota li mil-lum (4 Diċembru 2012) risposti kienu ftit (jekk xejn) u
s-serviżż għadu meqjus minnkom bħala “Domestiku”. L-ahhar kont tieghi
juri xi €17,000+ b’lura u qed nasal sal-punt fejn naħseb jekk saħansitra
hija mifthiema u jiena ċċarġjata b’rata korretta, mhux ser inkun kapaċi
niflah nħallas l-kont mil-ewwel u nista nithalla bl-ispejjeż tal-imgħax
li inthom tapplikaw mingħajr ebda ftehim ta ‘kreditu li tippermetti tali.

WKOLL:

Il-bierah filghaxija soffrejt 3 qtugh tal-eletriku separati meta
lis-“Smart Meter” wera uzu eccessiv bi 18% … L-elettriku addizzjonali
li kont qed nikkonsuma kien ċirku tat-tisjir elettriku (singlu) u
l-forn. Jiena ċerta li inthom konxji li l-użu tal-enerġija mill
imsemmija oġġetti ma jeċċedix dak ta’ 3×3.5kw units tal-airconditioning
u 7kw units li jintuza matul is-sajf (li kont qed nuża dan is-sajf
mingħajr problemi) Jiena konxja li lis-“Smart Meters”huma programmati u
kkontrollati b’mod remot u bħala tali inthom tistghu iggielhu l-unit
ttemm l-provvista fi kwalunkwe waqt mingħajr l-interazzjoni tiegħi. Dan
ifisser xi wieħed mill-2 possibbiltajiet razzjonali:

1 / Xi ħadd instiga qtugh tal-enerġija mill-bogħod.
2 / L-arlogg tad-dawl huwa difettuż u il-qari tal-konsum tal-enerġija
huwa zbaljat.

(A tielet possibilta’ hija li xi hadd qed jisraq l-elettriku, madankollu
bl-eċċezzjoni tal-wiring eżistenti livell ma l’art, jiena konxja ta
‘l-konnessjonijiet u l-punti li jaqtgħu lil xulxin tal-installazzjoni
tiegħi peress li installajt il-maggorita’ jien stess, inkluż ert
addizzjonali sabiex l-installazzjoni f’sigurta’ aqwa minn dak meħtieġ
mil-liġi Maltija.)

Il-qtugħ ta’l -enerġija ikkawża diversi kwistjonijiet. L-ewwel, jiena
tlift 7 t’ijiem ta ‘xogħol (80 sigħat ta’ xogħol) peress li kkawża dannu
lil wieħed mill-kompjuters tiegħi li ma lahaqx jlesti il ‘backup’.
It-tieni, kien ferm perikoluż għall-membri mimsuba fil-bini, biex ma
nsemmux li konna mitfugħin fid-dlam, persuna waħda fid-doċċa, jien stess
nsajjar bi fryer jahraq, u xi ħadd kellu jinnaviga fil-bini mudlam u
jfittex fil-cupboard tal-elettriku għall-interruttur sabiex jerga
jixghelu (li kieku kien hemm elettriku dan seta’ jirrizulta’ fatali.)

Fl-aħħarnett:

Xi żmien ilu (possibilment fis-sajf ta’ l-2011) jien tlabt sabiex jiġi
installat arlogg tad-dawl akbar f’din ir-residenza bħal meta lis-‘Smart
Meter’ kien installat dawn installaw arlogg 60Amp li kien inqas
mill-oriġinali, u hija totalment inadegwata għal dar b’ 4/5 kmamar
tas-sodod b’arja kundizzjonata. Kif ukoll, f’dak iz-zmien innotajt fuq
il-websajt taghkom li kellkom l-għażla ta ‘phase meter’ singlu akbar (80
amp) li huwa aktar realistiku għall-ħtiġijiet ta’ dar kbira. Pero kont
infurmata mill-persunal ARMS li ma kienx hemm meter bħal dan u li jkolli
namel “upgrade” għal ‘3 phase installation’ . Il-wajers interni ta’ dan
il-bini mhumiex adattati għal ‘3 phase installation’, għalkemm ma jistax
jiġi eskluż li jien nista nissepara l fażijiet individwali għal ċerti
partijiet tad-dar. Jien kont infurmata li l-ispiża tkun f’eċċess ta ‘€
3,000 għal l-imsemmija “upgrade” (kif oppost għal-bidla kkwotata
fil-websajt ta’ € 300 għal meter akbar – li jpoġġini lura għad-daqs
oriġinali tal- ‘pre-smart meter’)

SOMMARJU:

Sal-lum jiena ddisgustata mis-servizz tal-ARMS, ma nistax nikseb
kontijiet korretti, ma nistax nikseb tweġibiet minn persuni
responsabbli, Ghandi servizz inadekwat li intom qed tirrifjuta li tbidlu
mingħajr miżati eżorbitanti u l-inkonvenjenza konsiderevoli, biex ma
nsemmux il-preġudizzju u d-diskriminazzjoni fis-servizz li irċevejt sal-lum.

Michelle Sulivan

PS: Jekk jogħġbok irrispondi bl-Ingliż.

— Michelle Sullivan http://www.mhix.org/

 

One can only hope that the likes of the Times of Malta will take up the story and expose their discrimination and illegal strong arm tactics. (They have ignored at least one law in Malta – my Lawyer has already threatened them with legal action should they not comply.)

 

ARMS Final Notice
ARMS Final Notice (1)

 

ARMS Final Notice
ARMS Final Notice (2)

 

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Rude, Arrogant or just plain stupid…?

One would expect public figures to be the example, certainly in other countries those in public office, rock stars, actors and generally anyone famous has to set an example for others.  Where the law is broken, those famous often get heavier sentences as an ‘example’ to others, indeed as a person who has worked for a customs office I was warned as part of my induction if I was ever caught in possession of drugs I would likely get the maximum sentence by any court etc..  Where laws are not broken but ethics are, jobs are lost, people are distanced from colleagues and the culprits are discredited.  So the question is how does the Maltese political parties fair in this game of showmanship?

Well yesterday I had to fly back to San Francisco for my 3 monthly visit to ‘Head Office’ and I wasn’t looking forward to it.  United Airlines are renowned for the worst service of any passenger airline, and traveling some 60,000 air miles per year, I have to say I have had my fair share of their awful service.  However, my ‘travel dramas’ of the past were surpassed to my amazement and disgust by and incident at the very beginning of my journey…  Happening right in the Malta International Airport (MLA).

I was waiting patiently in line for a checkin assistant to become available with at least one person in the queue behind me, and a couple of friends being served already, then an older man came up and stood near the desk.  Thinking this guy was just after asking a quick question I did not challenge him, checkin continued and my friends started to move away, and to my amazement the guy stepped forward and put his suitcase on the conveyor belt and handed over his passport.  I immediately called, “excuse me! excuse me! There is a queue here you know?!?!” to which the reply was, “I see no queue.”

I did not hear the reply, but my friends had, I repeated myself with the addition, “are you really such a rude person that you will jump the queue whilst there are others waiting?”  The reply, came under his breath, “F’oxx …” (I did not hear the second word but am fairly sure it was “Ommock” ..  Now for the benefit of the non Maltese speakers, “F’oxx” is equivalent to “Fuck” in English and “Ommock” is “Mother” (ie the term is “Fuck your mother”, which is used rather offensively instead of “Fuck Off”) ..  I was outraged and turned to the checkin assistant who was a young girl and she said, “he’s Flypass”

Now Flypass members get preferential treatment, they get to use the business class lounge etc..  However, their privileges does not extend to queue jumping, and in the event that someone does have that privilege they are to use the ‘business class’ line, or wait to be invited by the assistant.

Mr Joe Debono Grech
Mr Joe Debono Grech – MP for Labour

Remember me saying that I travel around 60,000 air-miles per year?  Well, that’s around 20,000 ‘Flypass’ miles per year, I am known to Air Malta staff in Malta, Germany and the UK (though not this girl on the check in desk).. I was flying Premium on Lufthansa in this case, I am a Gold ‘Star Alliance’ member (Lufthansa Miles and More, and United Airmiles etc)  I am a silver British Airways member and just 4,000 airmiles off being a Platinum Etihad member… I fly a lot, and have been doing so since 2009, I don’t enjoy it….  Not that it made any difference in this case the assistant still allowed him to continue and the poor people behind me had to wait for this ignorant twit.

Another Lufthansa staff member became free and checked me in.

I spent 30 minutes in the departure lounge wondering where the person had gone to, and boarded the flight on time, several minutes later one of the last people to board came into view, and who would it be, you guessed it, the rude person from checkin, and to my astonishment, he continued past my seat into the economy area and sat approximately half way down the plane…  Yes folks, this guy was not even a premium class traveller…!

Incensed by finding probably the most rude, ignorant person in Malta, I formulated a plan.  The plane landed and I jumped up and got off the plane as fast as possible, taking my carry on luggage with me, little did he know I would be waiting at the gate in Frankfurt with my Nikon D3s and F2.8 lens…  Camera checked, turned on, set to highspeed shooting (9 frames per second).. he walked off the plane and one of the pictures was uploaded here..  My plan to name and shame him into better behavior…  Give him an unwelcome 30 seconds of Internet fame…  Little did I realise who “he” is…

Within minutes of posting the picture to Facebook several people messaged me to tell me it was none other than Mr Joe Debono Grech, a politician parliamentary candidate for Labour. Many describing him as a relic of the 80s, some stating quite clearly that my report about his conduct has made up their minds on which way to vote at the next election.

Personally I am shocked that someone holding public office would conduct themselves in such a manner that brings their party into such disrepute.  Labour, not for the people, for everything they can get for themselves, is what comes to mind.  Well Mr Debono Grech, I will not stoop to your level, I will not tell you to “F’oxx ….” I will not use my frequent flyer privileges to be rude and inconsiderate to others, I will be the example you obviously cannot set, and I pray that the people of Malta never have to suffer election of someone so ignorant in the future.  I fully expect you to use your contacts to make my life hell, well do your worst is all I can say, I currently pay 4000EUR in income tax per month, I can claim most of those back with all the loop holes in the tax law, I choose not to!  I put my taxes into the community for the benefit of all, I support local artists where I can, often at great cost to myself, and never charge a penny.  I am polite most of the time (I am just not polite to people who don’t take ‘no’ for an answer) and I believe in the Maltese people and way of life.  I was not born here, and I do not have relatives here.  My only connection with Malta before I moved was that my father was stationed here in Malta during World War II..  I am 43 years old now, and I have never in my life seen *anyone* with a attitude as disgusting as yours, and I am just glad the new generation of Malta, whilst not following in as much tradition as many would like, are better behaved and respectful to others than yourself.

 

Oh and the right (Dis)Honorable Joe Debono Grech…. just for the record… you won’t be getting my vote either.

 

PS: I am learning Maltese, not because I have to – but because I WANT TO!!  So yes, I could understand what you said to the assistant.

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United Airlines has to be the worst airline in the world barring: NONE!

No doubt that even if someone viewed this from United Airlines, they’d just laugh and pass it around as a “in joke” on their corporate LAN with the subject: “LOL this idiot thinks we have customer service!”

 United 906Y SFO-ORD-MUC (7/Mar/2012)

 Leg 1, SFO – ORD (Full Fare Premium Economy –  Silver Frequent Flier – A320/12B)

Boarding by designated class (1 through 8): Allocated Class 4.

Boarding of class 1 and 2 went smoothly, call for class three resulted in no passengers boarding.  Class 4 call occurred and it was noted that several people class 4 were already on the plane.

Ticketing despite being pre-allocated 12C my seat was reallocated to someone else just 24 hours before flight time.  On chatting to the person, they indicated they had paid ‘Top Dollar” for said seat and found on the online check-in that the seat allocation was available.  They were given class 2 boarding.

Staff were generally rude and unhelpful.  One exception on the flight, an attendant allocated to First/Business whom I failed to get her name.   All other flight attendants were unhelpful and unconcerned.  Other passengers also noted similar experiences with UA staff on previous flights.

Entertainment system was faulty, selecting Channel 9 for ‘Flight Deck’ resulted in no audio at all.  Every passenger announcement resulted in being reset to Channel 2, and a set volume.  Mid flight all channels were audio to match the screen.

In-flight dining: none.

 

Leg 2, ORD – MUC (7/Mar/2012) ( Full Fare Premium Economy –  Silver Frequent Flier – B777/22A)

Boarding Group 4, however due to late arrival of previous flight, boarding group not used.  Ground staff unable/unwilling to confirm baggage had actually been transferred from previous flight.

Upon boarding noted 6 economy plus seating was unallocated, when asking for a seat transfer was denied (politely) with the response, “they are for attendants during their rest period.”  Child passenger was sitting in my allocated seat, staff assistance was not provided, however parents of said child were both polite and helpful and moved child to the allocated seat.  Assistance through the whole procedure from the staff was unforthcoming.

During flight, for the first 2.5 hours had the call light on, and re-instated it several times however was completely ignored by all staff.  I slept for 2 hours, and upon waking noted that someone had turned off the attendant call light.  At around 5:20 into the flight I re-illuminated attendant call light.  Noted after 5 minutes no response, so depressed the call button twice.  Was greeted by staff member (Jeanette Quinn) with “What is your emergency”.  I indicated I needed a glass of water to take my medications (7 tablets on show where the staff had no idea of the medication type, nor was I queried on the subject.)  A glass of water was forthcoming within a few minutes.

In seat entertainment system: Generally good, and responsive.  Another passenger (Dwayne Hill, Seat 22C) had issues, upon explaining that the screen works better with hard touches (eg finger nails) rather than the soft padded touch of the index finger his experience was significantly improved.

Passenger Dwayne Hill, Seat 22C also noted that upon wandering back to the galley for a glass of water, was told by flight attendant (unknown – dark skinned) that he should be sleeping, and to return to his seat.  Passenger noted that the communication from the staff was extremely rude.

Upon speaking with other passengers their general experience and choice is “If we could have booked with someone other than United, we would have, they have to be the worst airline they have ever travelled.”  Passengers had various issues with obtaining alcoholic beverages.

In-flight dining:

Food for ‘dinner’ course was well presented, however the quality, whilst much improved from previous flights was still lacking on taste. Choice: Meatballs on pasta.  Salad that accompanied was fresh and of good quality.

Food for ‘breakfast’ course was presented in a bag.  The ‘pastry’ was more akin to a piece of cardboard.  The yogurt was acceptable.

Ticketing/Check-in Issues:

Due to the first leg being a domestic flight, I was forced to use the domestic check-in, however the boarding passes couldn’t be issued without help from the attendant so as there was only one person manning the counters and they were inadequately trained I had a 30 minute check-in.  My luggage allowance was restricted to ‘domestic allowances’ without ‘excess baggage’ charges (this cost an additional $70.00) as the first leg was classed as domestic.  Finally was forced to collect my luggage in Munich and re-check it in for the third leg to Malta as the operative couldn’t work out how to check the baggage all the way to Malta.  They finished by telling me that they couldn’t do it because they had no agreement with the baggage handlers in Munich to do the transfer… even though Air Malta (who would have the same agreement as I flew the reverse direction on my outward flight with the same airlines and same tickets) managed to check my luggage all the way to San Francisco…

General Comments:

Cabin temperature was reasonable, window seat had air conditioning ‘draft’ which the blanket supplied could not protect against.  Using a spare blanket did result in draft exclusion in the window seat (Why I ended up in the window seat even though booking was for the aisle seat.)

Pillows are (as reported previously) completely inadequate.

Toilets initially clean, however towards the end of each flight were soiled which was accompanied by the usual smell.  Flight staff “do not clean or check the toilets” – this was evident in the fact that 2 of the 3 toilets available for use had wet floors, full disposal receptacles and various pieces of rubbish strewn across the floor.

Staff in all ground positions and in leg 2 continually referred to myself as “he” and “him” despite flights being booked as “Ms Michelle Sullivan” and presenting all documentation as “Female”.

 

…. After my last flight with them in 2000 being ‘business class’ ($7000 one way from SFO to MEL) and similar experiences I thought they might get better…  I have just seen that some things in life NEVER change …